It happens that everything in a couple seems to be in place, and the lightness has gone. The woman pulls and decides, the man becomes softer and more passive, both of them get irritated, and nobody can say at what moment it started. The explanation lies in the nature of the masculine and the feminine, and it is fairly unexpected.
What a man is made of
If you look at a man, you will understand that every cell of a man is woven from woman except one. So a man is beyond doubt a carrier of feminine energy.
But the principles laid into him are different, they are male. A man has that straight-line energy of achievement, of being aimed at a goal. Even his body is built that way.
Where he carries all of it
For a man it matters a great deal to be in presence, in the moment, to reproduce himself in this world. And then he brings it home. Everything he gathered out there, on the hunt or anywhere else, all his achievements, goals, his service, his mission in life, he brings home.
And the woman, she is already that home he comes to. She is the reason he does it.
A good number of grievances fall away inside that formula. A woman does not need to catch a man up in his cycle and prove that she hunts no worse than he does. Her place in that circle is different and it is first in significance: without it his whole expedition for the catch loses its addressee.
When a man lives out of his nature and a woman out of hers, they work together very easily, it is very easy for them to be together. It is very comfortable.
What happens when it tips
But if she tries to be like a man, to achieve, achieve, achieve, then she becomes more selfish. Then the balance in the family breaks. And what happens? Then men become more feminine.
Let us not hang labels on it, whether that is right or wrong. But the result is predictable: the man softens, the woman hardens and becomes more masculine, more rational, and inside that inverted construction neither of them is comfortable. The misunderstanding comes about precisely because nobody notices the swapped roles, each of them simply feels that it has got heavy.
Clarity and feeling
The most interesting part is what a woman needs male clarity for at all.
For a man it matters a great deal that clarity is the main engine on his path. And he is the carrier of clarity for himself and for her. Because her nature is more chaotic, it is more about feeling, it keeps changing the way her hormonal balance changes, and that is every day. And she needs clarity that will support her in her movement.
What comes out is an honest exchange: he brings direction, she brings life and meaning to that direction. When one side takes on both functions, the other is left without work and the first one burns out.
Why the tipping happens at all
It is worth saying separately where this tipping comes from, because a woman rarely chooses it consciously.
Most often it comes from necessity. The man beside her stopped carrying direction, or there was none at all, or at some point the family needed money and the woman took the hunting on herself. That was a normal reaction to circumstances.
The difficulty starts later. The achievement mode does not switch off along with the circumstances, it stays in the body as a habit of keeping everything under control. And when a man appears who is ready to carry his part, the woman no longer knows how to hand it over.
So returning to your own nature is fairly long work with the body, in which a woman learns again to lean on something other than her own effort. It is not solved in one evening.
The quiet voice that it all rests on
This whole construction rests on a woman's ability to hear herself.
The soul has a very quiet voice. It is not your navigation app, it is not a voice assistant in your phone. It is a very fine vibration, barely catchable. But it can be felt, there is nothing complicated about it. It comes through our starting to connect with the awareness of our own body.
A simple sequence follows from this. A woman who hears her quiet voice lives out of her nature. A woman who lives out of her nature stops competing with the man beside her. And then the balance in the couple restores itself, without negotiations and without a written division of duties.
The masculine and the feminine work together exactly as long as each of them does what is theirs. The whole difficulty is that a woman hears what is hers only in silence and only through the body.
And if you want to be realised and successful while remaining a woman, take Peruquois's course Wake Up Your Womb Power, you will find it on the website under Courses.
Peruquois
A top World Music performer in Australia, musician, composer, author and facilitator of self-development trainings for women.
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