A woman gets the thing she spent years working toward and finds a flat emptiness where the joy was supposed to be. The house is bought, the title is hers, the trip happened, and nothing inside has changed. Peruquois explains this by saying that what came true was someone else's dream, and she gives a way to tell the difference. This was described by Peruquois, a top World Music performer in Australia, musician, composer, author and facilitator of self-development trainings for women.
Where the name comes from
Peruquois puts it plainly: most of what women call dreams are fantasies produced by patterns formed back in childhood, of the kind “mom, I want one just like hers.” Her own name for them is sandbox dreams.
A sandbox dream is a want a woman picked up from someone else's example and now carries as her own. It forms early, when a child sees another child's doll and wants exactly that one, and wants it sincerely.
The adult version differs only in the size of the object. A classmate's house in the country, a colleague's second degree, a friend's wedding, a trip out of somebody's feed. The mechanism stays the same and age does not alter it.
Two consequences
She names them directly: “First, even if you achieve them you will not become happy. Second, more often than not these are another person's dreams, and you simply will not have the resource to realize them.”
The second explains the long stories about unreachable goals. A woman approaches the task for years, breaks down, blames herself for weak will and starts again. The energy is short because it was issued for the dream of her own soul, and imitation and copying leave none of it.
The first explains the emptiness after the win. The goal closed, the effort was spent, the state did not move, and the woman concludes that happiness is unreachable in general, when what was tested was the wrong goal.
The body answers first
“For a woman, the simplest way to understand this is through the body,” says Peruquois.
The check is short. She asks herself which thought answers in her heart and gives the feeling that her soul is singing.
“If the thought of something sets off a wave of goosebumps, brings a tear, or gives the feeling that your heart is blossoming and it got easier to breathe, then you may be on the right track,” says Peruquois.
Those four signals vary in strength from woman to woman, but all of them are physical and all of them are instant. The head has no time to join in with its calculations about how realistic the thing is, and that is the value of the test.
Someone else's dream answers differently. What comes up inside is focus, businesslike readiness, sometimes a light anxiety of the must-get-on-with-it kind, and no goosebumps and no warmth in the chest.
The test over time
A single response proves nothing, it is easy to confuse with a passing enthusiasm. Peruquois offers a test that runs over several days.
First the woman imagines, several days in a row, that she owns this thing or lives in this situation. Then she runs a thought experiment: she imagines the dream has come true and notes her state.
Then comes the main part. She moves herself one, two or three years forward with the dream already realized, and looks at herself again. If the fruit of it still delights her, it is her dream. If the emotional charge has faded, it was a want of the moment.
The test takes a few minutes a day and saves years. Many expensive and difficult goals drop out at the second step.
Images instead of words
Once the true dreams are identified, Peruquois moves to how to work with them.
First all the wishes get written on paper, and then, preferably, drawn. “Our mind takes in images far better than words,” she says, which is why manifesting begins by switching from thinking in words to thinking in images.
Her third stage is called thinking in states. It is the ability to dissolve completely into the sensation, as if the dream were realized right now and she were living inside it. Attention goes to the emotions, the physical sensations and the thoughts that come up.
The energy without which nothing moves
Separately, Peruquois names the condition without which all of this stays a conversation.
Any change, and the realization of a dream above all, requires energy. Popular talk about quantum psychology, in her words, is not worth a thing unless it is backed by a high level of a woman's energy.
From that come two requirements. First, stop draining energy into social media, arguments, alcohol and cigarettes. Second: “learn to accumulate energy through dance, morning movement, a contrast shower, meditation.”
And one more condition she names on its own: “Most importantly, avoid any demandingness and judgment.” The internal scoring of working or not working eats exactly the energy the realization needs.
What changes when the dream is yours
A woman who has sorted out her own dreams starts spending her strength far more carefully. Half the items fall off the list of goals, and that frees up time and money.
What remains moves more easily. Your own dream does not require constant self-coercion and suggests the next step by itself, because it rests on that answer in the body a woman can now recognize.
If you want to sort out your dreams and carry them through, take the Peruquois course How to Realise and Manifest Your Dream, available on her website under Courses.
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