A woman gets a clear vision of what she wants to make. She takes it on, gives it everything, and a few months later nothing has come of it. The conclusion is instant and always the same: so it was not mine after all. How a woman's path of bringing a vision into the world actually works was described by Peruquois, a top World Music performer in Australia, musician, composer, author and facilitator of self-development trainings for women.
Where the demand for «now» comes from
«When a vision of something comes to us, we want it now. If not now, then the whole thing is a failure,» says Peruquois.
That demand feels like your own desire, but it arrives from outside. It is simply the mind trying to take everything under control again.
The format we all grew up in sounds familiar: take ten steps to success, achieve it now. «But we women, we do not work that way. Our female path of self-realization is different,» says Peruquois.
How that path is built
She describes the structure almost mechanically, and there is nothing mysterious in the description.
«We take a step, we integrate it into our body. We take a second step, we integrate it into our body. We take a third step, we integrate it into our body,» says Peruquois.
Integration is the key word here. A step does not count as taken until it has been lived physically and become part of the woman. While it stays an idea in the head, the next step is being built on nothing.
«And when all of it is integrated, when it has become us, it is born. And then you start birthing it into the world easily,» she says.
The ease at the end is not accidental and not a reward for patience. It appears because by the time of the birth everything has already been carried, and effort is no longer required.
Peruquois reduces it to one image that needs no explaining.
«And we as women, we are always rushing somewhere, always rushing somewhere. We want to give birth in one month instead of nine. It does not work that way,» she says.
Nine months is not a delay and not inefficiency. It is the time in which something alive becomes viable, and no method shortens it.
Two years that looked like failure
Peruquois gives the example of one of her students, and almost every woman recognizes herself in it.
At a retreat the woman went to the ocean every day, to a cliff, and practiced there. After a week a vision of a project came to her that she badly wanted to realize. She went home, took it on, and nothing worked.
Two years later she found herself doing exactly what had come to her then. There was no failure, there was a pause for integration, it simply looked like defeat at the time.
The difference between a real failure and a vision not yet carried to term becomes visible only in hindsight. Which is why it matters to know about it in advance.
Why the mothering experience is central here
Peruquois connects this rhythm directly with motherhood, and speaks of it with a respect motherhood does not usually receive.
«For me the mothering aspect is the most transformative aspect of a woman,» she says. And she adds: there is no harder work on the planet than raising children.
«Motherhood is grounded, it smells, it is emotional, it challenges you every minute. That is life itself,» says Peruquois.
In many cultures a mother is seen as a woman who lost herself and ended up somewhere outside of real achievement. Peruquois calls this a tragedy of the modern world, because this is precisely the energy that brings life into life, and it is grown only with patience, gradually and without rush.
What this changes in practice
For a woman who recognizes this rhythm, two things get easier.
First, the main source of self-blame stops working. Slow does not mean bad, and a pause does not mean the vision belonged to someone else.
Second, a clear criterion for the next step appears. The question is now this: have I lived what I have already done. If the answer is no, the next step can wait, and the waiting only improves it.
A woman's vision is born the way a child is born, and it has its own term. All that is required of her is to pass each step through the body and to stop counting as lost the time in which something alive becomes ready.
And if you want to deepen your practice and learn to live through the body what still lives in your head, take Peruquois's course Meditation for Women, Level II, you will find it on the website under Courses.
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