A woman who spent years staying quiet and agreeing one day stops doing it. She says what she thinks, takes up space, stops asking permission, and the release is enormous. And some time later she notices that people have started keeping their distance. Why that happens and where the line runs was explained by Peruquois, a top World Music performer in Australia, musician, composer, author and facilitator of self-development trainings for women.
The good girl always opens into the wild woman
«Any good girl sooner or later discovers the wild woman inside her,» says Peruquois.
This is a natural and healthy turn. A woman feels free for the first time, gets her connection with the earth and with her body back, and roots into it. The wild woman has a quality the good girl never had at all: she can stand up for her own life.
Peruquois calls this a very healthy, constructive position. Expressing yourself and your nature honestly is exactly what the whole thing was for.
Where the tilt begins
The problem appears when the new state turns into an identity card.
«I am a wild woman, and now all of you have to see me as this wild woman,» is how Peruquois describes that position. The woman builds her self-identification around the image of being super-free, starts lecturing everyone and informing everyone what she thinks of them.
It means she has lost the ability to discern.
That ability is the one thing separating freedom from pressure. The good girl in her extreme form never says what she feels and quietly does what she is told. In the opposite extreme, a woman gets stuck in her own power and starts suppressing everything around her.
How it looks from outside
«She starts dominating the space. And destroying, instead of creating,» says Peruquois.
Around such a woman there is a sense that she is constantly projecting force into the world and pushing everything through. The first five minutes of talking to her are interesting, she is dynamic and vivid. Then something else kicks in.
«You become a thief, you steal all the energy of the space for yourself,» says Peruquois. Women and men alike start keeping their distance, and they rarely explain why.
Her diagnosis is blunt. «And in this extreme modality she is not a wild woman anymore. She is a kind of half-man. She has actually stepped out of the position of a woman and into the position of a man in dominance,» she says.
What she actually looks like
The real wild woman looks different, and this is worth knowing so the two do not get confused.
Because the real wild woman is simply grounded, she listens, she feels, she connects, and she never pushes.
Her power is internal and gets projected nowhere. She is rooted in her body, in her belly, in her female center, and she has no need to demonstrate any of it to anyone. Out of that rootedness comes a calm that everyone around her can feel.
The question worth asking yourself
Peruquois suggests looking at what sits underneath the behavior.
«If you have started dominating the space around you, why are you doing it? What is it you do not trust?» she asks.
The cause is usually in the past. The woman went unseen for a long time, her strengths were not recognized, and somewhere in past relationships, at work or in school she concluded that being heard only happens through a fight. That is how the fearless heroine appeared, the one proving to everybody that she deserves attention.
«This is a woman with a closed heart. And her heart, the closed heart, that trauma was replaced with force, pressure and proving,» says Peruquois.
What restores the balance
The way out points in the direction opposite to effort.
«It is very important for her to find that soft space of the inner mother inside herself, the one who accepts,» she says. The mother energy is deeply sensing and at the same time very strong. She feels how people react and what they actually need, and she includes rather than excludes.
«She is not trying to dominate the space, she is trying to harmonize the space,» says Peruquois.
When a woman takes that part back, the pressure drops on its own. More compassion appears, more love for other people and for other women, a circular movement of energy starts inside, and change begins arriving in her life.
A woman's freedom is not measured in volume. It is measured by the ability to discern where your power creates space around you and where it takes space away from everyone else.
And if you want to come into a state where you no longer need to prove anything to anyone, take Peruquois's course Unleash the Wild Woman Within, you will find it on the website under Courses.
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