From a young age a woman is told what she ought to be: sexy enough, groomed enough, dressed in the latest shows, younger by a few procedures. The list is rewritten every season, it cannot be completed, and not a single item on it brings her closer to herself.
Rules written by the market
99% of what we were told about women is not true. That she has to be sexy, pump herself with botox, buy up fashionable clothes. The whole modern world is aimed at keeping us in a state of consumption.
The mechanism is simple. A woman is shown a standard, she finds a gap between herself and that standard, and the gap is closed by a purchase. Six months later the standard changes, the gap opens again, and the circle runs on for decades.
The one who profits from that circle is the one who starts it. Inside it a woman spends an enormous share of her attention, her time and her money on a distance that cannot be crossed.
What a man actually reads
The main fear that keeps a woman in this race sounds like this: if I do not measure up, I will not be chosen and I will not be loved. That is a kind of madness.
If you are in your own beauty, your feminine energy flows, and men do not care at all what shape you are: full, thin, average, any. You can be slender, have everything done that you want, the cheeks, the lips, the nose, and look like a perfect little doll. But if there is no feminine juice, if there is no feminine flow, if it is empty inside, you will keep drawing that energy out of him in order to fill yourself.
Men feel this, and it tires them quickly. He will think you are needy. On the first date he will like you very much, and then very quickly he will stop. He will say: who are you, actually? There is a wrapper here, so where is the sweet?
So the work a woman does for someone else's gaze usually misses its target.
A woman inside a man's game
The second layer of the same story shows up at work. Women keep trying to imitate men, to earn money by men's rules. But we should not be compared, we are different, we are polar to men. They have one way of solving things, we have another, softer one. Women are the protectors of all life around them.
A woman in business often plays a man's game: she pretends to be a man, adjusts herself to men and looks for her place in a man's world, earning respect and success there. This has a consequence that usually goes unnoticed. When she imitates men, she also teaches every woman who works for her to imitate her, who is imitating men. The imitation spreads in circles through the whole female team and becomes a norm nobody questions any more.
The uncomfortable stretch
The turn begins at the moment a woman stops and says to herself: it is time to take back this trust, who am I really. Not only what the rules of the game are, but who I am.
Then she starts to express more of herself: what she feels, what she intuits, what she knows intellectually, and all of it together. And the people around her become uncomfortable at first, which is worth knowing in advance. The familiar construction breaks, and people are used to the previous version.
This stretch has to be walked through. The stereotypes a woman built around herself, the ones she created herself, break exactly there, and there is no other route.
A different question to life
When we feel the connection with our body, when we trust this feminine energy inside us, we begin to attract far more interesting people into our lives, and our question to the world changes.
The questions of how to achieve more and how to get ahead fall away, and others take their place. Where is the truth for me here. How can I express my love into this world, including commercially successfully. How can I support my life, my family, my children, my parents, my man.
Our question as women is different from a man's. His is measured by the word more, ours by the word how. And with that question entirely different people start arriving, because what a woman responds to has changed.
The rules that tell a woman who to be are written by those who profit from her doubt. Trust in yourself comes back only from the inside, from the connection with your own nature, and every woman walks that path herself.
And if you want to step out of the role of the convenient, correct girl who is always being told who to be, take Peruquois's course Unleash the Wild Woman Within, you will find it on the website under Courses.
Peruquois
A top World Music performer in Australia, musician, composer, author and facilitator of self-development trainings for women.
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