The central affliction of the modern woman is a feeling of insufficiency, which should not be confused with inferiority. She always senses herself as not beautiful enough, not slim enough, not smart enough. Harsh self-criticism acts on the body more destructively than many an illness, and it works without breaks. On how a woman comes out of that state, Peruquois, a top World Music performer in Australia, a musician, composer, author and facilitator of personal development trainings for women.
Constant pressure
Self-criticism is constant pressure, and it never switches off.
Peruquois puts the question directly: what opening of a sensual feminine nature can we even speak about if there is not so much as acceptance of yourself as you are. Love and flowering begin with yourself, and if the acceptance is missing, the rest can simply be forgotten.
What does it mean to acknowledge your own reality? To give yourself the right to be as you are. It covers everything at once: appearance, character, behavior, profession. The inner conflict has to go, you stop denying yourself and you stop striving toward an ideal, because that takes far too much energy and blocks you from enjoying your life. It matters to acknowledge your own worth and your independence from outside judgment.
Begin with appearance
Peruquois advises beginning with appearance, and explains why. This is the aspect that most often causes dissatisfaction in women and the wish to correct flaws with cosmetics, procedures, surgery.
The technique is done at home, when you are alone.
Undress completely and look at yourself in a full-length mirror. Say out loud: “I look like this, these are my arms and my legs. I see myself in the mirror and I accept myself as I am. If there is something I do not like about my appearance, I can always improve it.”
Notice how the sentence is built. First a statement with no evaluation: I look like this. Then acceptance. And only at the end the possibility of change, and precisely as a possibility.
The right to improve
The last part of the formula works alongside the rest, because accepting yourself leaves room for movement.
Peruquois names right away what can be done. Start doing morning exercise, walk to work, take a walk before bed, join a gym. You can see a nutritionist to improve how you eat. Try meditation, to become more balanced, to stop getting irritated and stop eating your stress.
The difference lies in the point you act from. Since you accept yourself as you are, the changes lead toward better health and a better way of living.
Strict diets, cosmetic surgery and punishing workouts point to inner conflict and to an inferiority complex. That works as a marker you can easily check yourself against.
“To accept and love yourself means to choose and do what improves your life, what serves development and self-betterment without self-flagellation and without belittling your own successes, qualities, appearance,” says Peruquois.
The check comes out short. After an action from acceptance there is more energy and more interest in life. After an action from insufficiency there is tiredness and the sense that the goal is still far off.
Why out loud
The practice has one detail that looks minor and decides a great deal: the words are spoken with the voice.
The inner monologue about her own appearance runs in a woman for years and is barely noticed. Spoken aloud it sounds different: you hear your own voice, and the body responds to it. This is why the voice is present almost everywhere in Peruquois's work.
The first time, the sentence can be hard to finish. That is normal, and it means only one thing: the practice landed exactly where it was aimed.
The minute that changes the relationship
Your relationship with your own body took decades to form, and one minute in front of a mirror does not undo them at once. But it does what no procedure does: it gives a woman back the right to look at herself without a verdict.
Everything else gets easier after that, from clothes to conversations about your age, because the energy that went into the inner argument with your own reflection is finally released.
If you want to come out of that endless not enough, take Peruquois's course You Are Beautiful.
Do you have any questions? Contact me now
Should you have any questions, please contact me via messengers below. I'll reply you shortly.